When the relationship started you were permanently ecstatic; you couldn’t wait to be together. Days were too long, weekends too short, and nights were inadequate to transfer all your heated sexual passion. Every boundless lovemaking encounter was a sweaty, hot, dripping, lustful, deeply romantic or semi-depraved entanglement. And now; you hardly even kiss. What went wrong? Why don’t you relate passionately anymore? Just like with almost every other activity or pleasure, repeating the same sexual routine with the same person, at the same locations, over extended periods of time, your brain releases less and less dopamine, adrenaline, and testosterone; the chemicals responsible for sexual anticipation and excitement. In addition, routine predictable sex creates a dulling sense of comfort, familiarity, and unfulfillment which relegates relationship-sex to complacency. After a while of the same old sex with your same old partner, in the same old places, at the same old time, sex just doesn’t feel sexy anymore. And that’s because it isn’t. It’s entirely possible to overcome the banality of routine relationship-sex. However, it takes honest and committed work from both of us.
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